Don't eat peanut butter for a little while

The only reason I found out about the mass recall on peanut products, was because I shop at Costco and I had purchased an item in the past, that had been recalled. So they contacted me.

How cool is that by the way?! So here is a list of all the recalled items to date:

http://www.fda.gov/oc/opacom/hottopics/salmonellatyph.html#recalls

Better safe than sorry!

Musings of a Good Father on a Bad Day

There's nothing sadder than the childless couple.

It breaks your heart to see them stretched out, relaxing around swimming pools in Florida and California, suntanned and miserable on the decks of boats, trotting off to enjoy Europe like lonesome fools--with money to spend, time to enjoy themselves and nothing to worry about. Childless couples become so selfish and wrapped up in their own concerns that you feel sorry for them. They don't fight over the kids' discipline. They miss all the fun of "doing without" for the child's sake. It's a pathetic sight.

Everyone should have children. No one should be allowed to escape the wonderful experiences attached to each stage in the development of the young. The happy memories of those early years--saturated mattresses, waiting for sitters who don't show, midnight asthma attacks, rushing to the emergency room of the hospital to get the kid's head stitched up.

Then comes the payoff--when the child grows from a little acorn into a real nut. What can equal the warm smile of a small lad with the sun glittering on $1,500 worth of braces--ruined by peanut brittle -- or the frolicking, carefree voices of 20 hysterical savages running amok at a birthday party?

How sad not to have children to brighten your cocktail parties--massaging potato chips into the rug and wrestling with the guests for the olives in their martinis.

How empty is the home without challenging problems that make for a well-rounded life--and an early breakdown; the end-of-day report from Mother, related like strategically placed blows to the temple; the tender, thoughtful discussions when the report card reveals that your senior son is a moron.

Children are worth every moment of anxiety, every sacrifice. You know it the first time you take your son hunting. He didn't mean to shoot you in the leg. Remember how he cried? How sorry he was? So disappointed you weren't a deer. Those are the memories a man treasures.

Think back to that night of romantic adventure, when your budding, beautiful daughter eloped with the village idiot. What childless couple ever shares in such a wonderful growing experience?

Could a woman without children equal the strength and heroism of your wife when she tried to fling herself out of the bedroom window? Only a father could have the courage to stand by--ready to jump after her.

The childless couple lives in a vacuum. They try to fill their lonely lives with dinner dates, theater, golf, tennis, swimming, civic affairs and trips all over the world.

The emptiness of life without children is indescribable. See what the years have done. He looks boyish, unlined and rested. She is slim, well-groomed and youthful.

It isn't natural. If they had kids, they'd look like the rest of us--tired, gray, wrinkled and haggard. In other words, normal.
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I found an old newspaper clipping with the above, brilliant prose, written on it. From the prices of the items being advertised on the back (eggs 15¢ - Borden's instant coffee 29¢) I gather it was written a long time ago. Maybe the 40s. I don't have any history on it but the particular article I have credits "Ronald Lowell of Whittier, CA who in turn got it from a Los Angeles Disk Jockey."

Looking for a Job?

Would you have taken this position if you'd read this employment opportunity?

POSITION AVAILABLE:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION :

Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Extensive courier duties also required, all at your expense.

RESPONSIBILITIES :

Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, the screams from the backyard are not someone kidding around this time.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish plumming and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production and timely completion of multiple home-based educational projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always strive for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product and all of their actions.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :

None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for 18 years to life constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.
You are expected to accept and look forward to this without complaining.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :

None required.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :

None. In fact, you pay the client, offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when clients turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. After working all your life, when you die, you give them whatever is left.
The interesting thing about this reverse-salary structure is that you will find you somehow enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :

While you will receive no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered nor expenses reimbursed; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

To fellow parents everywhere. Well done!